Going Home for the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, comfort, and connection—but for many of us, going home can also stir up a mix of emotions. Between nosy relatives, subtle (or not-so-subtle) comparisons, and the pressure to prove you’re “doing well,” it’s easy to leave a family gathering feeling drained instead of refreshed.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and the good news is, you can approach this holiday season with more peace and confidence. Here are a few ways to protect your energy, avoid comparison traps, and stay grounded when you’re home for the holidays.

1. Ground Yourself Before You Go

Before heading home, take a few quiet moments to reconnect with yourself. Remind yourself of what’s true for you—your values, your growth, and what you’re proud of right now.

When you’re centered in your own truth, you’re less likely to get swept up in someone else’s expectations or judgments. Try journaling a few sentences like:

• “I’m proud of the progress I’ve made this year.”

• “I don’t need to prove my worth to anyone.”

• “It’s okay if my path looks different.”

This mental reset can act like emotional armor before you walk through the door.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Not every family gathering is going to feel like a Hallmark movie—and that’s okay. Go in knowing that some conversations might be awkward or even frustrating, but that doesn’t mean the whole visit is ruined.

You can prepare mentally by setting an intention:

• “I’ll focus on the moments that make me feel connected.”

• “I’ll step away if a conversation starts to feel draining.”

• “I’ll choose calm over being right.”
  

3. Have a Few Go-To Conversation Shifts Ready

If your aunt starts asking about your love life, your job, or when you’re going to “finally settle down,” you can gently pivot the conversation without being rude. A few examples:

• “That’s still in progress! How have you been spending your time lately?”

• “I’m figuring it out. Speaking of that, did you try that new restaurant downtown?”

• “I’m taking it one step at a time. How’s your garden doing?”

Redirecting the conversation shows you’re engaged but not open for interrogation.

4. Limit Comparison—Online and Off

The holidays often bring comparison from every angle—who’s doing what, who brought the fanciest gift, who has the “perfect” family photo. Remember, social media and family stories only show highlights, not the full picture.

If you find yourself spiraling into comparison, take a deep breath and remind yourself: everyone is on a different timeline. The season is about connection, not competition.

5. Create Mini Escape Hatches

You don’t need to sit through every conversation. If things get tense, it’s completely okay to excuse yourself:

• Offer to help in the kitchen.

• Take the dog for a walk.

• Step outside for some fresh air or a short drive.

A few minutes away can help you reset your mood and come back with calm energy.

6. Find Your Allies

Every family has those few people who make you feel more like yourself. Spend extra time with them. Whether it’s a cousin who shares your humor or a sibling who “gets it,” lean into the relationships that nourish you.

And if that’s not possible this year, schedule calls or texts with your chosen family—your friends who remind you who you are.

7. End Each Day with Gratitude

Even if the day was messy or emotional, take a moment to notice one thing that went right. Maybe you laughed hard with your dad. Maybe you set a boundary that used to scare you. Maybe you just made it through.

Give yourself credit for that. Growth doesn’t always look graceful—but it is progress.

Final Thoughts

Going home for the holidays doesn’t have to mean losing your peace. With a little preparation, compassion, and humor, you can navigate family gatherings with confidence and calm.

Remember: you don’t have to prove yourself—you just have to be yourself.

OCD Awareness Month

Written by Halsey Redman

October is OCD Awareness Month, a time dedicated to shedding light on one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). While the term often gets tossed around casually in everyday conversation ("I’m so OCD about my desk"), the reality of living with OCD is far more complex and, for many, debilitating.

Let’s take a closer look at what OCD really is, what it isn’t, and how we can support those affected.

What Is OCD?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder characterized by recurring, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). These obsessions and compulsions interfere with daily life, causing significant distress, anxiety, and impairment.

• Obsessions: Intrusive and unwanted thoughts, urges, or images that trigger intense anxiety. Examples include fears of contamination, harming others, or disturbing taboo thoughts.

• Compulsions: Behaviors or mental acts performed in an attempt to reduce the anxiety caused by obsessions. This might include handwashing, checking, repeating phrases, or arranging items in a specific order.

People with OCD often know their thoughts or behaviors are irrational but feel powerless to stop them.

Common Misconceptions About OCD

Despite growing awareness, OCD is still widely misunderstood. Here are some myths that need debunking:

1. Myth: OCD is just about being neat or organized.

Fact: While cleanliness or orderliness can be part of OCD, the disorder is much more complex. Many individuals struggle with distressing thoughts that have nothing to do with tidiness.

2. Myth: Everyone is “a little OCD.”

Fact: OCD is not a personality quirk or preference. It’s a diagnosable mental illness that can be severely impairing. Liking things a certain way is not the same as having OCD.

3. Myth: People with OCD can just stop their behaviors if they try hard enough.

Fact: OCD is not a matter of willpower. The compulsions serve as a coping mechanism to relieve intense anxiety. Telling someone to “just stop” is not only unhelpful—it’s harmful.

What Causes OCD?

The exact cause of OCD isn’t fully understood, but research suggests a combination of factors:

• Genetics: OCD tends to run in families.

• Brain Structure and Functioning: Studies have shown differences in brain activity in people with OCD, particularly in areas related to decision-making and emotional regulation.

• Environmental Factors: Trauma, stress, or certain infections (like PANDAS in children) can trigger or exacerbate OCD symptoms.
  

OCD Is Treatable

The good news? OCD is treatable, and many people see significant improvement with proper care. The most effective treatments include:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Specifically, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is considered the gold standard. ERP involves gradually exposing individuals to feared situations while helping them resist the urge to perform compulsions.

2. Medication

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), like fluoxetine or sertraline, can help reduce OCD symptoms. Sometimes higher doses are needed compared to treating depression.

3. Support Groups and Education

Connecting with others who understand can reduce isolation. Education helps both individuals and their loved ones better navigate the condition.

4. Other Options

In severe or treatment-resistant cases, options like intensive outpatient programs, deep brain stimulation, or transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) may be considered.

Conclusion 

OCD is not a joke, a personality trait, or something that can be “fixed” overnight. It’s a real and challenging mental health condition, but with the right support and treatment, recovery is absolutely possible.

This October—and beyond—let’s move beyond the stereotypes and show real understanding, compassion, and advocacy for those affected by OCD.

Preparing for S.A.D

Written by Halsey Redman

   This time of year, each year, the clocks roll back and days get darker. With shorter days and colder air, our moods can begin to shift. Depression and loneliness set in — making us feel as dark as the sky at 5:30pm. Don’t fret! There is hope for a better Fall and Winter! We just have to do our part and prepare.

Start Early

• Vitamins 

• In New England and areas of similar climate, it is super important to get enough vitamin D in the wintertime. You can try your best to get it naturally from the sun (remember sunscreen), or from food, but taking a supplement is also an option! We recommend consulting with your primary care physician — but make sure to do it sooner versus later. It can take a few weeks of taking a daily vitamin D supplement for those levels to rise in your body. Consistency is key! 

• Red Light Therapy

• There are so many studies from recent years that show the benefits of red light therapy. It can be beneficial for mood regulation by stimulating the brain's production of serotonin. It also can help to regulate your circadian rhythm, leading to a more restful sleep. Getting enough sleep is one of the best ways to fight depression and anxiety. I have been using red light therapy twice a week for two months now — I am not immune to the placebo effect, but I do feel a lot better! Red light therapy and exercise have changed the game for my mental health — I’m excited to see how this carries on into the wintertime!

• Move Your Body

• Speaking of exercise… Moving your body during the colder months is essential! It releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters, improves your sleep, reduces stress and anxiety, helps to regulate vitamin D, and so much more. Trust me, I wish that exercise didn’t work as well as it does. Every time I’m in a bad mood and I decide to peel myself off the couch to go to the gym or even a walk, I immediately notice my attitude shift. Maintaining a routine is so good for your mind and body — and you don’t have to go crazy! You can dance in your bedroom for 15–20 mins and completely shift your mood!

• Make Plans Ahead of Time

• A big part of S.A.D for me is how lonely I feel. I can’t get myself to make plans in the same way I do during Spring and Summer. My solution to this problem was to create standing plans — weekly or biweekly — with my friends. My home is open to whichever friends would like to show up, every Thursday evening. There are no expectations — come sweaty from a workout class, in your pjs, done up from a date night — just show up as you are for some company! I have snacks on standby. 

During the Dark Months

• Lean Into Coziness 

• Wintertime isn’t dark and sad if you light enough candles! Pretend your home is a jazz club. Turn off the overhead lighting, light candles, throw on a record or an ambient Youtube playlist, and pour yourself some bourbon (or a hot cocoa)! Coziness can change the way you feel about staying in on a cold night. It can be a luxury if you reframe your outlook.

• Play in the Cold

• The outdoors is not off limits! If you bundle up in the appropriate gear, playing in the snow can be quite fun. Go sledding, walking, skiing, or whatever inspires you!

• Volunteer or Join a Group

• Volunteering can be a valuable way to spend your time during the colder months. Not only does it benefit your local community, but it connects you to other human beings during the loneliest time of year. Call an animal shelter, work at a soup kitchen, hang out at a senior center, or even your local library! There are also free groups to join. Learn to knit alongside your neighbors, join a bookclub, try out yoga!

• Pick up a Book

• Reading is my favorite way to pass the time all year, but I find it especially wonderful during the winter. When I’m in need of an escape- I rent an audiobook from my library app (if you don’t have a library card… you’re seriously missing out). If reading isn’t your thing- try out a podcast that piques your interest.

Conclusion 

We know it’s hard to gather the motivation to take care of yourself when the world outside feels grim. Begin now- while the summer sun is still energizing your body. We hope this will be the best fall/winter yet!