Men's Mental Health Month

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by Bryan Randolph, LICSW

Counseling can be helpful for all people, yet men are much less likely to seek care. Imagine the following: You have just been diagnosed with heart disease. Chances are low (but not zero, given some of the men in my life I have known) that you would tell yourself “This isn’t real, It’s just all in my head” and “I need to toughen up and deal with this myself”. Yet, these phrases are commonly heard when we talk or think about mental health. A recent study found that despite 77% percent of the men polled reporting symptoms of a mental health condition such as depression, anxiety and unhealthy levels of stress, close to half (40%) said it would take thoughts of suicide or self-harm before they seek help. Men face many barriers to getting help, including believing that mental health issues and stress injuries are signs of weakness, fear of judgment from others, worry about potential consequences related to their job or ability to have firearms, and simply not having the time, resources or energy to get help. Even men who do reach out often feel that medical providers under-estimate and mislabel their concerns or provide treatment that is not helpful.        

Good mental healthcare can help diagnose and treat stress injuries, illnesses, disorders, and conditions related to our brains and nervous system. However, mental healthcare is not just about treating things that are wrong and fixing things that are “broken”. Counseling works to help us connect to our mind, body, and spirit; in other words, to be the person we want to be.  

Issues helped by counseling 

The counseling process starts by working to identify problem areas in your life and then creating goals for improvement. Your therapist will work to provide different treatment options and collaborate with you to create a treatment plan. Many men find it difficult to know where to start or feel uncomfortable focusing on themselves. There are a variety of different styles and approaches that can help make it feel more comfortable and help to figure out “what to talk about”. Additionally, treatments exist that involve minimal or no verbal processing, which can be appealing to those who do not want to, are unsure how, or feel unable to talk about their past or current problems. Check out the end of this post for more information about these options.  

Many men wish that they could control their emotions better, including issues related to anger, anxiety, worry or OCD, depression, or feeling “numb or empty”. They may “bottle up these feelings” or turn to unhealthier ways of coping, such as over-use of drugs and alcohol or video games/social media, being a “workaholic” or isolating themselves from others. Counseling often starts by helping men recognize the problems they are facing and identifying potential underlying causes and/or contributing factors to these issues. I frequently work with men who make connections for the first time between their current behaviors and trauma, neglect, abuse, or a chaotic upbringing in their past. I frequently get asked “This [insert horribly traumatic thing] happened to me in my past and I never told anyone. Do you think that’s had any impact on me?” (Spoiler, the answer is “Yes”). I also often help individuals discover that many of their problems and challenges are actually symptoms of undiagnosed conditions such as anxiety, OCD, ADHD, Depression or being on the Autism Spectrum. Being able to recognize these things often brings a profound sense of relief. It helps individuals understand themselves and learn how to make things better by taking accountability for the things they can change and to not beat themselves up for things that are out of their control. 

Many men find it hard to deal with stress related to relationships. I often work with men seeking help related to conflict and tension with their spouse or partner, particularly around issues related to parenting. Sexual health issues, including performance, communicating wants/needs to your spouse or partner, or unhealthy behaviors related to sex or pornography are also common reasons men seek counseling.  

     Work stress is another large factor that drives people to seek help. Many men find it hard to discuss issues related to work and tend to keep their feelings to themselves. Counseling can be a helpful place to get support managing a challenging job, feeling aimless or unsure of a career direction and/or help finding or keeping a job. 

First responders, law enforcement, and veterans experience or have experienced exposure to traumatic events on a frequent if not daily basis. Many individuals in these roles feel hesitant to seek help due to worry about judgment from others and/or potential consequences that could affect their ability to do their job. Myself and many other clinicians in our practice frequently work with those in these types of roles and have experience addressing the particular needs of these groups, including the ability to handle listening to the types of situations encountered on calls, and other unique challenges to these fields. 

Benefits of Counseling

Counseling is focused on more than just identifying problems. Benefits of counseling include improving relationships by developing better communication skills and being able to manage emotions rather than avoiding problems or exploding in anger. It can lead to feeling closer with your spouse or partner, feeling better able to navigate the challenge of parenting in a way that is supportive while also setting and holding healthy boundaries, repairing or accepting difficult relationships with your own parents, and creating meaningful connections with the people in your life.    

Counseling can prevent mental and emotional health issues from getting worse or becoming larger. Learning how to manage stress and anger can improve overall physical health as many issues can be caused or made worse by stress, including stomach, muscle and nerve pain, IBS, chronic fatigue, headaches and autoimmune conditions, among others.  

Counseling provides a non-judgmental and objective space to discuss problems and “think out loud”. Talking to a counselor is a chance to process your thoughts and express your feelings in a raw and unfiltered way without worrying about how it will affect the counselor or how it will make them see you. Additionally, counselors are trained to listen and will not be burdened or disturbed by the things you share. 

 Beyond office and talk-based therapies 

 Some feelings can feel difficult to put into words.  Trauma, chronic anxiety and depression, and feelings that just seem to “exist” without a clear explanation are often extremely difficult for the “thinking and word” parts of the brain to process.  “Walk and talk” sessions can be helpful for individuals who feel uncomfortable sitting down in an office setting and find it easier to open up while outside and/or engaging in physical activity.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) use bilateral stimulation to help the brain reprocess stuck feelings of trauma and emotional distress that have been resistant to change through talk therapy or medication. Sensorimotor Therapy and Somatic Processing Therapy use movement, posture and sensations to help locate and shift emotions on a physical level in order to create internal feelings of safety and control. 

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) uses a controlled dose of a psychedelic medication, administered by a medical professional, to create experiences that are then processed with a therapist to help individuals radically shift their perceptions of themselves and their past experiences.     

Help is out there    

While attitudes are changing and more men are seeking counseling than before, many are still resistant to or unsure of seeking out help. This June I encourage you to take a moment and take stock of your own needs. If you have been considering counseling or think it could be helpful, I encourage you to reach out and learn more about the many different options available. There is nothing weak about wanting to be happy, healthy, and confident.    

Celebrating Pride Month in Rural New Hampshire: a How-To Guide

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By Emma Van Ness, PhD, LCMHC

Note: This post uses the term “queer” as a blanket term for all people under the LGBTQ umbrella, the “Q” in LGBTQ.

As a therapist who identifies as and works with LGBTQ+ individuals, I often encounter the dilemma of loneliness that happens with us rural queers; we frequently feel both protected and alienated by our natural surroundings and small communities, relatively safe but also out of step in some way, like we stick out but also add color and vibrancy to what can be a fairly monotone landscape. This can be particularly true in June, when the Pride Flag goes up on the Plymouth Common but otherwise, life continues as is. There is no riotous community taking up space, no local pride events, just rainbow text on the headers of our favorite corporate overlords’ websites. How truly… alienating…

This is a reminder that Pride began as a riot 1 . The Stonewall Inn, locus of the 1969 Stonewall Riots, sparked the Gay Rights Movement, and there is no better time than the present to lean into that collective energy than now. So saddle up, queers! It is time to make Pride Month one you will remember. Here are a few ways to make Pride a celebration of LGBTQ+ identities in concrete ways beyond the pink-washing of corporate logos.

SUPPORT LGBTQ-OWNED BUSINESSES:

The Live Free or Die State has many businesses that are owned by and serve as hubs for LGBTQ life; it is true that many are found in urban centers of the state, such as Manchester, Concord, and Dover but there are several in Plymouth, Littleton, and North Conway. Teatotaller in Concord is a wonderful, and colorful, coffee shop on Main St. Both the Concord location and its sister location in Dover are owned by Emmett Soldati, an active voice in the LGBTQ Community and local politics. Penumbra in Concord offers “make your own” classes and advice for those of us who have houseplants and aspire to have green thumbs. Slim Pickin’s in Littleton is an LGBTQ-owned dive bar with karaoke and theme night. And in Plymouth, Turnage Barber Shop is a gender-affirming space offering wonderful cuts across the spectrum of gender presentations. This is just a sampling of LGBTQ businesses in the state! If you’d like to put your money where your mouth is during Pride Month, download the “Everywhere is Queer” app to see a map of LGBTQ businesses across the state. There are more than you might expect so no need to feel pigeonholed to go to that same coffee shop or corporate big box store you’ve been going to; branch out and try something new!

SUPPORT YOUR COMMUNITY WITH ADVOCACY

This is also why there is no “Straight Pride,” because heterosexual sex has never been criminalized and persecuted to the extent that gay sex and relationships have. Pride is about visibility and being seen, about taking up space because as the AIDS epidemic proved to us, “Silence = Death.”

At a time when our community is under attack, it is more important than ever to show support for each other. Volunteer with a crisis hotline, donate clothes or organize a swap with your friends, or use the 5 Calls app to engage in political advocacy. There are several local organizations you can reach out to or support that are already in this fight so you don’t have to do it by yourself. Each of these organizations is well-established so give what you can, whether that be donating money, time, or spreading the word, getting involved and getting your friends involved is what Pride is all about.

ACLU New Hampshire https://www.aclu-nh.org/en

603 Equality https://603equality.org/

NH Outright https://nhcje.org/blog/new-hampshire-outright-supporting-lgbtq-youth-

through-community-and-advocacy

GLAD Law NH https://www.gladlaw.org/locations/new-hampshire/

New Hampshire Woman’s Foundation https://nhwomensfoundation.org/

Kent Street Coalition https://kentstreetcoalition.org/

Planned Parenthood Action https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/

Indivisible Plymouth NH https://www.mobilize.us/indivisible/event/788052/

Equality Health Center https://equalityhc.org/

Gibson’s Bookstore https://gibsonsbookstore.com/

If we have learned anything since Stonewall, it is that when we stand together, we are more powerful than we are alone. Working together for a shared cause is not only good

for your soul; it is a way of stepping into your power.

ATTEND A PRIDE EVENT

While it may mean a bit of a drive, there are Pride Events happening all over the Granite State. Our friends at Planned Parenthood New Hampshire have put together a

comprehensive list of pride events here: https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/planned-parenthood-new-hampshire-action-fund/blog/2025-ppnhaf-pride-guide

There is at least one Pride-related event every weekend so get out there! Pink Pony Club it up, friends! It is wonderful to be surrounded by friends and community and Pride

events are SO fun; do yourself a favor and lean into these opportunities to experience queer joy!

Resources:

https://aspe.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/documents/688063d3176311f3b2ee6c14f02bf4e4/rtc-maternal-health.pdf

https://www.hopeonhavenhill.org/momhub/ 

Maternal Mental Health

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By Deidre Rideout, MS, LCMHC

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, and it is a great month to discuss ways to support a person struggling with a perinatal mental health condition. The perinatal period refers to before, during, or after pregnancy. The Department of Health and Human Services published a report in 2024 on maternal mental health to address the current Maternal Mental Health Crisis in the U.S. The report shares that the U.S. maternal mortality rate far exceeds the maternal mortality rate of other high-income countries, and that in the 36 U.S. states that participated, 84% of the reported pregnancy-related deaths were determined to be preventable. Over half of these deaths were during the postpartum (PP) period of 1 week PP to 1 year PP.  

Anxiety disorders are one of the most reported and common complications associated with pregnancy, and it has been proven that women with a mental health condition are 50% more likely to experience severe maternal morbidity (SMM). Mental health conditions are the leading cause of pregnancy-related deaths in the U.S. 

These statistics are heartbreaking, and maternal mental health is a topic that should be spoken about far more than it currently is. The saying, “it takes a village to raise a child,” no longer applies to most families in the U.S., and many families report feeling like they don’t have connections or support in their parenthood journeys. 

A wonderful local resource we have in NH is The NH Mom Hub, located at Hope on Haven Hill in Rochester, NH, with their primary mission being to connect NH moms to the support they need. The NH Mom Hub offers calls and texts for emotional support, peer support from moms with lived experience, weekly check-ins if needed, and helps navigate resources. The Mom Hub can be contacted at (603) 841–5353 and more information can be found at https://www.hopeonhavenhill.org/momhub/ 

Here are ways you can support a parent you think may be struggling:

1. Active listening without offering any unsolicited advice

2. Validate without making the narrative about you

3. Be present

4. Ask how you can help and follow through (within your own boundaries)

5. Check-in without expectations 

6. If you are concerned about the safety of a parent or a child, do not hesitate to call a medical professional and/or crisis hotline at 988. 

Resources:

https://aspe.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/documents/688063d3176311f3b2ee6c14f02bf4e4/rtc-maternal-health.pdf

https://www.hopeonhavenhill.org/momhub/